October 6, 2009

Leave Your Situations at the Door

It's Text & Twitter Tuesday! I've missed doing this for the past couple weeks. Especially since I've really been loving the tweets from one of the people I follow on Twitter.

I'll start with texts:

-Brittany: Is it trashy to drink beer in the shower? Cuz I totally just did.
-Me: I don't know if it's trashy, but it's something.

The next text came as a response to a yes or no question:
-Jill: Is the pope a religious freak?

Now, tweets:

This week, the Twitter spotlight falls on author Caprice Crane. She is one of my favorite authors. She has published 3 books, the latest one, Family Affair, came out just last week. I just love her writing style. Her tweets are also extremely entertaining.

Her are just some of the ones I've marked as favorites:

Dear Hateful Male E.R. Nurse, While I recognize & appreciate your power trip, one thing remains: You are still...a male nurse.
6:29 PM Aug 3rd

My new book is out in 3 weeks and I got zero press. So, don't judge if you see me in the tabloids giving Jon Gosselin a handjob at Katsu-Ya.
3:46 PM Sep 10th

Dear Lady Gaga, Where can I buy your outfits? I googled "batshit crazy clothing store," but no dice. Love, Caprice
11:25 AM Sep 14th

Oprah picked a collection of short stories for her book club. Thanks for the heads up, lady. Coulda used it *before* writing a f*ing novel.
12:01 PM Sep 21st

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" gets confusing when you've been issued a restraining order.
8:07 AM Sep 22nd

If you find yourself saying the word "re-donkulous," please don't finish your sentence. You shouldn't be talking.
1:39 PM Oct 5th

Alrighty, there were quite a few tweets, but they're quick, fun and sometimes dirty (like sex with a hooker [not that I'd know]).

Well, for those of you who have Twitter, check her out. If you don't, you can go to her website. Also, check out her books, they're awesome.

Until next time, children.

Title Song: 'Family Affair' - Mary J. Blige -- In honor of Caprice Crane's new book. Simply because they have the same title, obviously.

1 comment:

scribblesofdreams said...

I think the last pope was pimp. :P I mean, someone totally tried to assassinate him while he was cruisin in his Pope mobile, but his secret service dudes tacked that guy. And the Pope just kept on waving to the people while in his mobile. Then the Pope went to see that attacker guy in prison to forgive him. I think that was Pope John Paul.

And I agree with the "re-donkulous" part. That's just...not acceptable.