Text me! Tweet you!
First: Blogger still doesn't show when you guys post something new, so sorry if I'm slow to read your posts. I don't know what's up.
Anyway, some fun texts from Alessa:
'I eat tast-pie in my underpants.'
'I believe it's my civil doody to BRYAN!... eat tasty-pie.'
Last night, in the theatre, we spoke a lot about how the word 'duty' (doody) makes us laugh. As well as, dookie. But enough about those words.
Bryan: Do you remember when we were going to (maybe coming from) Cirque de Soliel and Alessa called your name, but didn't remember saying it? Yeah, we had some good laughs about that last night, too.
Also, here's a text from my mom that made me smile:
'Now get up and greet your world. Brighten someone's day. Create a moment.' :) I love her.
Noooow, for some tweets.
This person's handle is 'roughdiction' I don't really know who this person is, I just came across his page through someone else's. I find him pretty funny, though.
He tweets:
Who needs a #FF from @sween? If wanted Canadian followers, I would put Céline Dion in the trunk of my Buick and haul ass across the border.
8:10 PM Oct 22nd
(#FF = Follow Friday, for you non Twitter-ers. It's when you tell the people who follow you about others they might enjoy following)
Facebook was created by terrorists to lull us into a false sense of security through the success of our farmville crops.
2:02 PM Oct 20th
If I wanted to be wrong all the time, my chosen profession would involve more Math.
5:39 AM Oct 16th
Vengeance may be sweet but I've always preferred cheesecake.
5:51 PM Oct 15th
All the yoga didn't help with my premature ejaculation but now I'm flexible enough to suck my own dick so it doesn't matter.
9:31 AM Oct 11th
If I lie still, maybe work will just go away.
4:37 AM Oct 6th
Your breasts look very peaceful when you sleep but this window keeps getting all steamed up.
5:39 PM Oct 3rd
If I ever say anything that causes you to develop respect for me, just imagine me jerking off on your favorite area rug.
6:24 PM Oct 1st
And here's a random tweet I just found kind of funny:
kolchak: You cannot avoid being mocked by the bird. It's right in his fucking name.
8:32 PM Aug 19th
S'all for today, friends. Hope you had some fun with it.
Title Song: 'Come Baby, Come' - K7
Showing posts with label Text and Twitter Tuesday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Text and Twitter Tuesday. Show all posts
October 27, 2009
October 20, 2009
Truth Be Told, I Miss You. And, Truth Be Told, I'm Lyin
Text & Twitter Tuesday:
I actually don't have too many texts that are amusing enough to me to put up here. Maybe next week. However, there is always someone funny on Twitter.
This week I'm going to spotlight this guy named Justin. Justin is 29 and he lives with his father who is 73. His Twitter handle is shitmydadsays. His dad says hilarious stuff all the time and Justin tweets it. Now, I'm not sure if there really is an old man saying all this stuff, but it's beside the point because its hilarious.
Here are some tweets:
"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."
12:59 PM Oct 18th
"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."
10:03 AM Oct 5th
"Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his fucking food. Why's he gotta do a trick first? YOU don't have to do shit before YOU eat."
10:28 AM Sep 30th
"No, you cannot borrow my t-shirt...How about instead of standing there looking shocked, you do your fucking laundry?"
3:30 PM Sep 21st
"Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi."
2:58 PM Sep 10th
"The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2"
12:41 PM Sep 7th
"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"
1:12 PM Sep 2nd
"Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."
8:07 PM Aug 24th
"You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."
1:07 PM Aug 23rd
Haha, I think it's pretty funny. Hope you all enjoyed.
Title Song: 'Gives You Hell' - The All-American Rejects
I actually don't have too many texts that are amusing enough to me to put up here. Maybe next week. However, there is always someone funny on Twitter.
This week I'm going to spotlight this guy named Justin. Justin is 29 and he lives with his father who is 73. His Twitter handle is shitmydadsays. His dad says hilarious stuff all the time and Justin tweets it. Now, I'm not sure if there really is an old man saying all this stuff, but it's beside the point because its hilarious.
Here are some tweets:
"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."
12:59 PM Oct 18th
"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."
10:03 AM Oct 5th
"Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his fucking food. Why's he gotta do a trick first? YOU don't have to do shit before YOU eat."
10:28 AM Sep 30th
"No, you cannot borrow my t-shirt...How about instead of standing there looking shocked, you do your fucking laundry?"
3:30 PM Sep 21st
"Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi."
2:58 PM Sep 10th
"The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2"
12:41 PM Sep 7th
"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"
1:12 PM Sep 2nd
"Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."
8:07 PM Aug 24th
"You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."
1:07 PM Aug 23rd
Haha, I think it's pretty funny. Hope you all enjoyed.
Title Song: 'Gives You Hell' - The All-American Rejects
October 6, 2009
Leave Your Situations at the Door
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
September 8, 2009
'Cause Hugs Are Overrated, Just FYI
Old Business:
About last week's [Non]Fiction Friday, most of you said that you'd like to read the rest of the story. It is finished and I can post it for this week's [Non]Fiction Friday.
Also, sorry I didn't get a post up for Moral Monday. Yesterday proved to be a lot busier than I had originally planned. However, there are other Mondays, so don't you fret.
New Business:
I bring you: Text & Twitter Tuesday.
On Tuesday's I will be brightening your day with fun texts and tweets!
We'll start with texts:
Sept. 4, Bryan wrote: Haha...U always entertain me. U smart hobag haha. Except ur not a ho. Fo sho. (Thanks B-Ry)
On Sept. 1:
Julia: I think I've been listening to too much Backstreet Boys.
Me: There's no such thing as too much Backstreet Boys.
Julia: More people should recognize this fact.
Also on Sept. 1:
Me: Family Guy is on in 18 mins!
Julia: I think I may need a bowl of cereal for this occasion.
(Moments later)
Julia: All it was was cereal dust. Fuck, my mom needs to go shopping! I thought the benefit of living at home was free food and a stocked kitchen! WTF? And who the hell puts an empty cereal box back in the pantry? Rude!
On Aug. 27, I wrote: Is it sad that after I dropped my box of reese's pieces on the ground and they spilled I had to tell myself twice not to pick them out of the dirt? (Brittany promptly told me there was no shame in this because she would have picked them up...thanks, B)
Today's Twitter spotlight will be Michael Buckley. I chose him because he was the first person I knew of who used Twitter, so it's only fitting.
He's a YouTube personality (as well as a person) and has a hilarious show called, 'What the Buck?' You guys should check out his videos, I think you'll like them.
Here are some of my favorite tweets from him:
Packing for college. Im enrolling in University of Twitter tomorrow. It's really intense.
3:26 PM Sep 6th
FoxNews just said "there is quite a bit of Activia here". Haha. Did they mean activity or is Jamie Lee Curtis on the scene?
11:12 AM Jun 26th
Ordered two deep dish pizza's -40 bucks? Better come with a cute new V neck t shirt or somethin!
4:33 PM May 26th
If I had a child I am sure I would leave it on the playground by mistake and be like ...ohh shiny things....get home and be like oops!
9:40 AM May 21st
He was also interviewed recently for Hartford Advocate. He talks about Twitter and why it's awesome and how Facebook is boring with all it's ridiculous applications. I also enjoy the simplicity of Twitter. Anyhoo, check out the article, his YouTube and his Twitter. Oh, and he also does live shows on BlogTV twice a week. He really is the definition of Internet success story. I just think more people should know about him, he's great.
Title Song: 'S.O.S.' - Jonas Brothers
About last week's [Non]Fiction Friday, most of you said that you'd like to read the rest of the story. It is finished and I can post it for this week's [Non]Fiction Friday.
Also, sorry I didn't get a post up for Moral Monday. Yesterday proved to be a lot busier than I had originally planned. However, there are other Mondays, so don't you fret.
New Business:
I bring you: Text & Twitter Tuesday.
On Tuesday's I will be brightening your day with fun texts and tweets!
We'll start with texts:
Sept. 4, Bryan wrote: Haha...U always entertain me. U smart hobag haha. Except ur not a ho. Fo sho. (Thanks B-Ry)
On Sept. 1:
Julia: I think I've been listening to too much Backstreet Boys.
Me: There's no such thing as too much Backstreet Boys.
Julia: More people should recognize this fact.
Also on Sept. 1:
Me: Family Guy is on in 18 mins!
Julia: I think I may need a bowl of cereal for this occasion.
(Moments later)
Julia: All it was was cereal dust. Fuck, my mom needs to go shopping! I thought the benefit of living at home was free food and a stocked kitchen! WTF? And who the hell puts an empty cereal box back in the pantry? Rude!
On Aug. 27, I wrote: Is it sad that after I dropped my box of reese's pieces on the ground and they spilled I had to tell myself twice not to pick them out of the dirt? (Brittany promptly told me there was no shame in this because she would have picked them up...thanks, B)
Today's Twitter spotlight will be Michael Buckley. I chose him because he was the first person I knew of who used Twitter, so it's only fitting.
He's a YouTube personality (as well as a person) and has a hilarious show called, 'What the Buck?' You guys should check out his videos, I think you'll like them.
Here are some of my favorite tweets from him:
Packing for college. Im enrolling in University of Twitter tomorrow. It's really intense.
3:26 PM Sep 6th
FoxNews just said "there is quite a bit of Activia here". Haha. Did they mean activity or is Jamie Lee Curtis on the scene?
11:12 AM Jun 26th
Ordered two deep dish pizza's -40 bucks? Better come with a cute new V neck t shirt or somethin!
4:33 PM May 26th
If I had a child I am sure I would leave it on the playground by mistake and be like ...ohh shiny things....get home and be like oops!
9:40 AM May 21st
He was also interviewed recently for Hartford Advocate. He talks about Twitter and why it's awesome and how Facebook is boring with all it's ridiculous applications. I also enjoy the simplicity of Twitter. Anyhoo, check out the article, his YouTube and his Twitter. Oh, and he also does live shows on BlogTV twice a week. He really is the definition of Internet success story. I just think more people should know about him, he's great.
Title Song: 'S.O.S.' - Jonas Brothers
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)