March 29, 2009

Well, It's Not Called Gym-'NICE'-stics...

It has been for-freaking-EVER since I sat down and updated blog-style. Things since December have been so up and down. The last few months went by extremely slowly, yet really quickly at the same time. January was a great month. My screenwriting class was amazing, and having the apartment to myself was heaven! I officially dubbed February, "The Lost Month". Anything that was supposed to be done in February was not accomplished. It was a long hard month for me. I've spent March doing damage control. The backlash of February's mistakes was huge. There are some things that are still completely a mess. The good thing I have gotten out of this month was finishing a draft of my second screenplay. I'm extremely proud of myself to be honest.

Anyhoo, Tuesday I'm going to audition for 'Book of Days'. I'm kind of excited. I rather enjoy the anxiety of auditioning, as strange as that may sound. I have my monologue memorized and I've read the play, so I feel pretty prepared.

Speaking of plays, I'm really excited to be working on writing a play for the theatre department. I sat down with Jill and we talked about what she and Will were looking for and I think the ideas we talked about are going to work really well.

I've been writing so much and I've enjoyed it a ton. I'm having the hardest time focusing on other schoolwork though. I can finish a 110 page screenplay, but I can't concoct a five page paper. What kind of shit is that?

I've enjoyed writing for my non-fiction class as well. Non-fiction is one of the most relaxing forms of writing I feel. I love being able to look back and reflect and I love reading (days, months or years later) what I thought about a certain situation at a certain point in my life.

I've become so obsessed with movies this year. I haven't been able to buy a new movie in so long and I think I'm experiencing some kind of withdrawal. I miss adding a new movie into my collection. Sticking it where it belongs among the hundred or so movies I have alphabetized on a small shelf in my room.

On the subjects of rooms, I cleaned my room for the first time in about 3 (ish) months. It's so nice to have a floor again. There's just something so relaxing about cleaning and seeing the finished product.

I'm pretty sure I'm rambling a ton. I have just a bit of alcohol in me. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do after college. When I picture life after graduation, all I can see is myself packing up and heading for California and just trying to make something of myself as I struggle to pay my loans. It should scare me, the unknown, but it's coming whether I want it to or not, so I might as well embrace it, right?

Also, in the randomness of life, after years of looking, I have spoken to someone who knows my father. I spoke with a man named Eric after tracking down the number to a company my Dad's step-father (my step-grandpa, I guess) used to own. Unfortunately, Sam, my grandpa, died in 2003. But Eric knows my father and gave me his word that he'd pass my phone number and other information onto my father. I've never been this close to talking to him. I'm extremely anxious and nervous. I'm completely scared I won't hear from him. It's only been two days. I figured it'd be a little bit before I'd hear from him because of the whole, "Surprise, here's your 21-year-old daughter's number, give her a call" thing. But I'm worried he won't ever call back. I'm trying to be calm about it, but it's such a scary situation. There's just so much I don't know. I could have other siblings or a step mom, etc., etc., etc. It's just...crazy.

Well, I feel like so much else has gone on in just the past few days that I should write about, but it's 2AM and I should probably wait until I'm more coherent to blab about it.

Title Quote: Joanne - 'Stick It' (Awesome movie...nothing to do with this post at all.)