May 31, 2009

It's My (Pity) Party and I'll Cry if I Want to

It is May 31, 2009 and I should be graduating from college at 10AM. However, I am not. This might sound selfish, but I'm not going to the graduation ceremony, either. I should be up there with all of my friends, but I won't be and I'm not in the mood to suck it up and be a bigger person. I know if I go it'll be really hard for me to be happy for anyone. Maybe I'll just go after the whole ceremony is over and say some goodbyes...or maybe, I'll sleep through it all and then spend the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself. Either way, it's my prerogative.

Title Song: 'It's My Party' - Lesley Gore

May 23, 2009

Love, Save the Empty

This week has been a long one, that's for sure. It was the last week of classes, so that's cool. Though, I really am going to miss American Lit. and Non-Fiction. They were two of my favorite classes. Non-Fiction, for sure, is in my top 3 favorite classes I've taken here. Finals next week. Nothing too intense for me. I won't be dead from cramming for tests--you gotta love being a creative writing major!

So, I think my favorite thing of the week, this week, was watching the show 'Glee'. It's such an awesome show. Apparently, though, this was just a teaser episode because the series doesn't actually start until the fall...WTF? I was hoping to have the show all summer when I had nothing else to do...I might be busy in the fall :(

Okay, wait, I lied. I think my favorite thing this week was my teleconference with Zaida. Haha, it sounds so official :)

Last night, there was a celebration for the ending of classes/graduation and at some point in the night I decided to longboard. The first time I did it, I was fine. The second time I turned too sharply and flew off the board. I guess I shouldn't have tested my luck. My only regret? Not having it on film, it was hilarious!

At the moment, I can hear someone yelling at someone else. There's all kinds of F-bombs being dropped out

There's this trend going on in the world where every guy seems to want to date girls that are years...years younger than them...what's up with that? I asked a guy last night and he said it's because girls his own age are way more mature than him, so he needs to find someone on his level. It was kind of a compliment, but it still sucks. I guess I'll have to start searching for guys that are about 3-5 years older than me. That's strange. We'll see how that goes. I'll never find a guy as long as I'm at Linfield...but that is something I already knew, haha. I've stopped looking.

But, anyway, I'm going to go do work, son! But I leave you with a clip from 'Glee'. I wanted to find the audition scene, but I couldn't find it on YouTube. However this scene is just as good. Also, randomly, the video is mirrored. So it looks just like the show, only everything is flipped...straaaange. Enjoy and go watch the whole episode on or :)

Edit: The video cuts off some because of the width of the clip, but if you click it it'll take you to YouTube and you'll be able to see it there.

Title Song: 'Love, Save the Empty' - Erin McCarley

May 19, 2009

Listen, Children, to a Story That Was Written Long Ago

It's 2AM. I haven't gone to sleep before 4AM in weeks and I won't be breaking that cycle tonight. I've been trying to finish the rewrite of my thesis and it's taking me such a long time. I can't focus. I've added some stuff, taken out some stuff. Mostly what I have left is to rewrite the last 10 or so pages--easier said than done. The last draft I turned in was 110 pages. I'm now up to 126 pages! I don't know if that means I have too much...but I don't think so. I really didn't want to take a break, but I just can't focus. Writing it seems so hard at the moment--like so much effort. I also feel like I'm just being a whiny little bitch and I should just suck it up and do it.

Title Song: 'One Tin Soldier (The Legend of Billy Jack)' - Lambert-Potter

May 6, 2009

And That's Because None of Us Got Enough Love in Our Childhoods

You know that overused joke, "I know [insert something here] like I know the back of my hand." Then the person looks down at their hand and they say something along the lines of, "Whoa, what's that?"

You know that joke, don't you?

Yeah, that just happened to me for real. Ha.

And that's showbiz, kid.

Title Song: 'Roxie Hart' - Chicago

May 4, 2009

Life for Me Ain't Been No Crystal Stair

I always seem to write when I should be sleeping. I was doing some writing for my Non-Fiction class right before this. I have so many different things I want/need to work on. I'm really enjoying the writing, the only thing I'm not enjoying is that there are only 24 hours in each day.

The 24 hours usually breaks down to:
6-8 hours of sleep (including a nap).
4 hours of rehearsal.
2 hours of class.
2 hours of eating (scattered throughout the day).
2.5 hours of procrastination.
5.5 hours of productivity.

Now, let's keep in mind that productivity means the time I spend trying to write something, which encompasses lots of blank staring into space, or milling around on Google. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PROCRASTINATION. Also, the hours are just estimates, they vary depending on if it's a weekday or not. If it's a day during the weekend, the hours of sleep and procrastination change drastically.

I've been trying really hard to get stuff done. I just have so much writing.

Writing to-do List:
-The play for the theatre.
-Rewrite of my screenplay (thesis).
-Non-Fiction portfolio pieces (rewrites and new pieces).
-Paper on 'The Road' by Cormac McCarthy for my American Lit. class.

The list is short but it holds so much writing. Honestly, I love it though...I seriously do just wish I had more hours to write. Creative writing is hard sometimes...Creativity is so fickle and it keeps me up til the wee hours of the morning. Yeah, Creativity is a flaky bitch. Haha, personification. Yeah, I'm tired.

Lately, I've been wondering about my future. I've been thinking about what I thought I'd be doing around this time, this year and what plans I had for myself about a month from now. And now, here it is. May 2009. I'm not sure of each, but so many things have changed. I've been spending ample hours trying to figure out what is best for me, what I want, what I want to do and how I want to go about all of it. During all of this thought, I've had the poem, 'Harlem' by Langston Hughes constantly reciting in my in head.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

I recommend reading: 'The Dream Keeper and Other Poems' by Langston Hughes...some of the best poetry I've ever read.

Title Quote: 'Mother to Son' - Langston Hughes (Definitely feeling his poetry this morning)