I've made it a habit lately of not sticking to my habit of themed posts. That could be because I haven't had any obligation to anything (whatsoever) in the past however many days it's been since finals week, and it's kind of nice. It's also probably because I don't even have a clue as to what day it is...really. It's Monday or Tuesday though, right? Am I joking right now? No, sadly, I am not.
I do know, however, that in a couple days (maybe a few days if it's Monday) that we'll be done with the aughts and into a new decade. I've learned, from the wise women in my family, of a cool tradition/superstition of cooking certain foods to ring in the new year.
On New Year's Day there are four (4) (that always cracks me up when the number is written out and then the numerical symbol is right next to in parentheses. I shouldn't laugh though, illiteracy is still a problem, America.) foods that are supposed to help you in the new year.
1. Black eyed peas -- Because they swell when they cook, they symbolize prosperity, good fortune.
2. Greens -- For an obvious reason, symbolize money.
3. Pork -- Because of the way pigs root forward when they are foraging, it symbolizes positive motion.
4. Rice -- Symbolizes life and health.
Basically, have a nice, soul food-filled dinner and you'll be okay.
Around this time, everyone starts making resolutions. I never make resolutions. I've learned that, mostly, resolutions are just for show. Usually, people tell friends and family about their weight loss goal or their cutting-back-on-my-drinking goal or their "being better at keeping in touch with friends" goal, and, by spouting off their goal(s), they feel they look better to others and in turn feel better about their self. Then, January passes, February's shortness swings by and by the time we're well into March, they're feeling shitty because they've done no justice to those resolutions.
Well, I have enough crap to feel bad about without adding on a neglected list of empty promises I made to please others to please myself (did you follow that?). So, that being said, I'm keeping with tradition and will not be making any resolutions this year.
On the other hand, I will be making some changes. This is the first year, in 18 years, that I am to be without the organized routine of school. I have a lot of big hopes and even bigger dreams. There's an ache inside me every single time I write--a good ache. I know what I want to do. I don't know exactly what I have to do to get there, but I have a rough outline.
Now, this might sound cheesy, but I'm going to say it anyway. Every story I've ever finished has had an outline, rough or otherwise. As I wrote, the outlines were filled in, changed, rearranged and always became clearer. I have no doubt the outline to my life (well, the outline to this part of my life) will go through the same process--my life is just a bunch of short stories I'm writing with every choice I make. I'm always unsure in the beginning, but by the end, I've reached a point of satisfaction; I know if I'm not satisfied, it's not the end.
Well, let's be real, that was cheesy. But, you get what I'm saying and you have to respect me, a least a little, for carrying that metaphor all the way through, haha.
All that cheesy stuff aside, I'm not going to write down the changes I'm making. Let it be known, though, that I started making them weeks (actually, months) ago--another reason I don't make resolutions is because it gives the false sense that change can only come with a new year. I'm not telling you guys because I know myself enough to know it won't do me any good to share them. Certain things I tell everyone, because I know if I say it enough, I'll be sure to do it (like my impending fame). Then, there are the things that are better motivators if I keep them inside.
Anyway, I've rambled enough. I hope you all had a jolly Chrismahanukwanzakah, and that you ring in the New Year with someone you enjoy and care about (even if it's just yourself). Also, I hope whatever resolutions or changes you make (or don't make), inwardly and outwardly, are for yourself--that's the real key, I think.
Lastly, I leave you with these two (2) (haha) quotes:
"...I realized that my dreams of becoming a writer wouldn't just come true; I had to do the work. ... I learned that dreams don't work without action; I learned that no one could stop me, but me. I learned that love is stronger than hate."
--Roseanne, from Roseanne
"Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible."
Title Song: 'Roseanne Theme' - John Popper