I just have some some things I want to put out there:
-- I don't appreciate it when a guy hits on me, in a loud manner, while attending my family's function as a guest.
- Please, do not "holla" at me while I'm standing next to my grandmother, and again when I'm with my two 10-year-old cousins.
- Also, I was just a bit peeved when you asked for my number in my Aunt's kitchen as I was trying to enjoy a meal. No, you can't call me sometime.
-- Stop sending me mass text updates about your personal life.
- I've said it before, I hate them.
- They should only be used when inviting people to an informal party.
- They're impersonal, annoying and almost always a waste of the 3 seconds it takes to read.
- I did the math and I spend around 1 hour, 5 minutes per year reading unwanted updates about the most mundane moments of your life.
- If you want multiple people to know that you're watching Gilmore Girls and eating Teddy Grahams: GET A TWITTER ACCOUNT. That's exactly what Twitter is for. It takes like 5 mins to sign up. Please, do it. I'll even follow you. Pinky promise.
- If you won't do that, please tell me how to be taken off your to text list.
-- Has everyone forgotten how to chew with their mouths closed?
- Seriously, WTF?
- Also, could you not crunch in my ear? Por favor y gracias.
-- Can we [women] stop being so dependent on having an other?
- If you're in a relationship: Great, now can you talk about something else, please?
- If you're in a relationship and still maintain your independence: Kudos.
- If you've recently ended a relationship: It's not the end of the fucking world.
- If you're single and looking: Stop I'm-going-to-be-alone-forever-ing when it doesn't happen right away.
- If you're single and not looking: Good. Do "You" for a while.
- No matter what your situation: Can we all just agree to learn how to be okay alone? That way, when we get into a relationship, we still know how to act, and when a relationship doesn't work out, we don't become blubbering, desperate and reckless.
-- Please stop telling me that I have to do something.
- By all means, suggest your favorite things to me, I welcome it. I'll check it out when I'm good and ready to do so, or maybe I never will. Either way, it's my choice.
- 97% of the time, you telling me that I have to do something will guarantee that I won't do it, just out of spite.
Well, do what you want with that information.
Title Song: 'Hide & Seek' - Imogen Heap