June 7, 2010

Where Are We?

What the hell is going on?


I just have some some things I want to put out there:


-- I don't appreciate it when a guy hits on me, in a loud manner, while attending my family's function as a guest.

  • Please, do not "holla" at me while I'm standing next to my grandmother, and again when I'm with my two 10-year-old cousins. 
  • Also, I was just a bit peeved when you asked for my number in my Aunt's kitchen as I was trying to enjoy a meal. No, you can't call me sometime.
-- Stop sending me mass text updates about your personal life.
  • I've said it before, I hate them. 
  • They should only be used when inviting people to an informal party. 
  • They're impersonal, annoying and almost always a waste of the 3 seconds it takes to read. 
  • I did the math and I spend around 1 hour, 5 minutes per year reading unwanted updates about the most mundane moments of your life. 
  • If you want multiple people to know that you're watching Gilmore Girls and eating Teddy Grahams: GET A TWITTER ACCOUNT. That's exactly what Twitter is for. It takes like 5 mins to sign up. Please, do it. I'll even follow you. Pinky promise.
  • If you won't do that, please tell me how to be taken off your to text list.
-- Has everyone forgotten how to chew with their mouths closed?
  • Seriously, WTF? 
  • Also, could you not crunch in my ear? Por favor y gracias.
-- Can we [women] stop being so dependent on having an other?
  • If you're in a relationship: Great, now can you talk about something else, please?
  • If you're in a relationship and still maintain your independence: Kudos.
  • If you've recently ended a relationship: It's not the end of the fucking world.
  • If you're single and looking: Stop I'm-going-to-be-alone-forever-ing when it doesn't happen right away.
  • If you're single and not looking: Good. Do "You" for a while.
  • No matter what your situation: Can we all just agree to learn how to be okay alone? That way, when we get into a relationship, we still know how to act, and when a relationship doesn't work out, we don't become blubbering, desperate and reckless.
-- Please stop telling me that I have to do something.
  • By all means, suggest your favorite things to me, I welcome it. I'll check it out when I'm good and ready to do so, or maybe I never will. Either way, it's my choice.
  • 97%  of the time, you telling me that I have to do something will guarantee that I won't do it, just out of spite.
Well, do what you want with that information.

Later gators.

Title Song: 'Hide & Seek' - Imogen Heap

6 comments:

Vicki said...

Preach it girl!

Also, love the song and the keyword.

And one more thing...TAG!

*runs from impending wrath*

Julie Musil said...

Ok, your blog post is hilarious! Just saying what the rest of us are thinking!

Julie Musil said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I loved your suggestion of bringing the book up to your head instead of slamming our head down on the desk. You're quite efficient.

Thanks for stopping by!

scribblesofdreams said...

Yuuuup. I pretty much concur.

Chloe' said...

Hahaha...I love this. It's so true...
ESPECIALLY the relationship part. We are people! We weren't created just to be with a man- it's the 21st century!

<3 you jam!

Don said...

As men we MUST know that it's all in the timing. You might want to groom the guy who obviously needs some schooling.

Let me get this right - mass updates via cell phone text messages? Yep. Twitter is calling his name. BTW, I followed you on Twitter.


If you won't do that, please tell me how to be taken off your to text list.

Too funny.

If you're in a relationship: Great, now can you talk about something else, please?

Hilarious!

If you've recently ended a relationship: It's not the end of the fucking world.

You are a child of Richard Pryor? Hahahaha.