December 19, 2008

My Wish List: Past & Present

I'm sitting next to my window, watching the snow fall and it makes me think of every Christmas wish I have ever made.

Wishes I Remember Making (As I Progressed in Age):

-Coming downstairs Christmas morning and seeing a puppy under the tree.
-To stay up long enough to see Santa or to just, at least, hear him leaving.
-Win the lottery -- Like what happens in 'To Grandmother's House We Go'.
-A camera.
-A Bike.
-My dad.
-Various tapes.
-TalkBoy -- Like in 'Home Alone'.
-A puppy.
-Binoculars -- Like Harriet the Spy.
-My dad.
-Cell phone.
-Various CDs
-Anything my friends had -- Let's be honest.

Yeah, many things are repeated. And when you see the word 'snow' it separates anytime I moved to a new school level (pre-school, elem. school, up to high school). I wished for some random shit back in the day; lots of materialistic stuff. I don't wish for too many items of that sort anymore. Just books, movies or a few bucks, if anything--and books and movies are things I buy for myself anyway, but it's always nice to get them from others, and money is just something everyone can use.

I've been less materialistic about things in college. I've accepted that you can't always get what you want--and if you do get it, it shouldn't just be expected at Christmas, because that's not what the holiday is about. Now, we all know that I'm not the religious type, so don't try to call BS on what I'm saying. It really is just about being together with people you care about--whether or not you bring religion into it is your business.

Not having money makes you appreciate things so much more when you do get them. I have friends (who will remain nameless) that get things not only at Christmas, but year round from their parents. I sometimes can't stand to be around those friends. Maybe it's because I resent them for being so unaware of how their boasting makes others around them feel. Or maybe it's that I'm jealous because, shit, I want to hand various family members a Christmas list and get just about everything on it. OR (maybe), it's because they're selfish, spoiled ADULTS who bitch and moan when they only get nine presents, instead of the eleven they got last year. It just pisses me off that I've met children more grateful for the little they receive, than the adults I call my peers.

Didn't people learn anything from Veruca Salt? You can't have everything or the Eggdecater (God/Life/Karma (you choose)) will decide you're a bad egg and send you down the chute to the furnace (Hell/A life nothing but things and loneliness/Dirt broke). (Excuse the Willy Wonka reference.) (Also, excuse the obnoxious amount of parentheses in this last bit here.)

You still with me?

Where was I even?

Oh, right.

I'm glad that I have been able to go from: 'What am I going to get for Christmas?' to not even knowing what to say if someone asks, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

Family has always been the reason I enjoyed the holidays. So many people nowadays can't stand their family. Half of the time, I'm one of those people, but I try hard to give them a break during the holidays. I'm hoping this year my family--my extended family--can take a moment to pull themselves together for about 48 hours, at least. I'm so tired of all the petty crap that goes on--it makes it a burden to come home. It makes it hard for me to feel like I'm home. It's just not a good feeling.

Mother Nature has done her part by giving us the perfect setting for the storybook Christmas I have always pictured--I just hope the characters in my life can follow the story I have written in my head. So here it is...

Jamika's 2008 Christmas Wish List:

-Snow falling on Christmas morning.
-Fully functioning family at Grandma's house on Christmas.
-I just really want home to feel like home again.

Simple enough, right? Come on, Santa!

Happy Christmas...Merry New Year...Joyous Holidays,

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